Rotten Apples

There's a saying that goes something like "everyone is a saint when they're dead". That was never more true than when Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer and blatant stupidity. The wailing from the Cult of Mac was heard around the world, and the Applepologists crushed each other in their stampede to begrudgingly admit that it was a tragic loss of a genius innovator, and how they had so much to thank for of Steve Jobs for making their lives so much better and simpler.

Pfft.




I also have a lot to thank Steve Jobs for. If not for his innovations on (read, "bastardizations of") existing technologies, I wouldn't have a personal desktop or laptop computer, an MP3 player, or a smart phone. Yes, if not for Steve Jobs tasking Apple with ripping off and dumbing down the creations of much smarter, more talented (and better looking) people, I wouldn't have my Creative Zen MP3 player, my Sony-Ericcson phone running Google's open-source Android software, or my computers running Windows and Linux, full of AMD, nVidia and Intel hardware (some of which I installed myself). Products made by companies that took one look at what Apple was doing and said "People buy that shit? Let's make our own, better versions and sell it for a third of the cost!"

These devices were nothing new, even when Apple released their own versions. Tablet-style computers existed long before the iPad, such as the Microsoft Tablet PC series from the late 1990's, and there were others even before that. Cell phones already existed before the iPhone, of course, but true to form, Apple took the design and dumbed it down. What few things Apple made that were truly innovative, such as the highly successful Apple II, were actually the product of Steve Wozniak's genius.

This is perhaps the most illuminating video on this subject.

Apple hasn't always been the king, and it was only recently that they were reported to have more money than even the US government.Those of us who still wake up in a cold sweat with the sound of a screeching dial-up modem ringing in our ears can remember a time when you would only likely encounter an Apple product in the form of aging workstations with monochrome screens in the basement of the local library. The Cult of Mac was but a fledgling sect then, simple lotus eaters hiding behind their walled garden. Complacent in their ignorance, fearful of the outside world with its alien concepts of consumer choice and user replaceable parts. Their only claim to superiority was that they were free from computer viruses, purposefully ignoring the fact that they had a fraction of the market share, so no virus programmers (or anyone else for that matter) gave an airborne coitus.

People love drawing comparisons to George Orwell's 1984. So I find it ironic that the same company that dared to sow the seeds of consumerist anarchy with a pseudo-parody commercial of that novel has now become the embodiment of the Orwellian fascist corporate-state, with Steve Jobs as the droning, hypnotic propagandist. (And if you've read the novel, you know that Jobs' death is in no way a barrier to future appearances, and word is they're already working on the next iteration of their beloved CEO.) But you'd never hear of it from the Ronbot hipster multitude that worships at the temple with the glowing white apple carved into the tip of the pyramid.

Speaking of fascism, let's talk about the walled garden. Apple has always taken a firm stance against letting the end user modify the hardware, and in most cases, the software, of their devices. Strange, when the Apple I was a hobbyist computer. Things are somewhat improved with their laptops, where you can replace memory chips and hard drives from third party vendors. But overall, you're not allowed to exchange parts, jailbreak iOS devices, or other similar actions that are encouraged in the Android, Linux and Windows communities. Having only one version of a device out at a time can have many benefits, especially in terms of manufacturer support, but has some negative repercussions, such as the total squashing of available phone case options for non-iPhone devices by third party vendors.

Apple, largely due to Jobs' often hostile authoritarian work ethic, also has strict control over what software makes it into their App Store. In an article by Ryan Tate on Gawker, entitled What Everyone is Too Polite to Say About Steve Jobs, he writes:

In the name of protecting children from the evils of erotica — "freedom from porn" — and adults from one another, Jobs has banned from being installed on his devices gay art, gay travel guides, political cartoons, sexy pictures, Congressional candidate pamphlets, political caricature, Vogue fashion spreads, systems invented by the opposition, and other things considered morally suspect.

Apple's devices have connected us to a world of information. But they don't permit a full expression of ideas. Indeed, the people Apple supposedly serves — "the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers" — have been particularly put out by Jobs' lockdown. That America's most admired company has followed such an un-American path, and imposed centralized restrictions typical of the companies it once mocked, is deeply disturbing.

The rest of his article is filled with similar examples, and I highly encourage you to read it. I feel it's also worth noting that other blocked apps include one that notifies subscribers every time a drone strike is carried out by United States armed forces. Their reasons for doing so were because the app wasn't "useful enough" and didn't have a "broad enough audience". That certainly explains the hundreds of apps for playing fart noises that made it past Apple's fast and loose approval standards.

Not to mention allowing outright rip-offs of other people's work, such as Zynga's Dream Heights, a clone of Nimblebit's Tiny Tower. Perhaps Apple merely sees a kindred spirit.

Nimblebit's Tiny Tower (left), Zynga's Dream Heights (right).

Perhaps the most sickeningly ironic example of an app getting blocked merely for being controversial is the case of Sweatshop HD. This satirical game let players run a clothing sweatshop in an underdeveloped country, but Apple blocked it, stating the reason was because they felt "uncomfortable selling a game based around the theme of running a sweatshop". They didn't seem too uncomfortable to manufacture their products in sweatshop conditions at companies like Foxconn, where some 200,000 employees are forced to live in the factories, working more than 60 hours a week, and forced to pay for food and rent. This was exposed back in 2006, and while Apple has raised standards and published yearly reports on conditions in their manufacturer factories, problems still exist. Child labor is a growing occurrence. During the launch of the iPad in 2010, reports began hitting news outlets about a multitude of suicides at the Foxconn factories, an endemic that resulted in the company forcing workers to sign an agreement that they wouldn't kill themselves. Employees have been poisoned by the chemicals used without being forewarned that they would be working with hazardous materials. There have even been several explosions at different factories that manufacture Apple products, the most recent of which occurred in May and December of 2011. The New York Times published an excellent and lengthy article on these events, titled Apple's iPad and the Human Costs for Workers in China, which ends with this gem:

"You can either manufacture in comfortable, worker-friendly factories, or you can reinvent the product every year, and make it better and faster and cheaper, which requires factories that seem harsh by American standards," said a current Apple executive.

"And right now, customers care more about a new iPhone than working conditions in China."

But oppression of the lower classes is par for the course of any totalitarian regime, right? I'm only being somewhat facetious, as Apple can (and should) divorce itself from such factories whenever it wants. Perhaps another six years will do the trick. They certainly have more freedom to do so now, as their benevolent dictator has since passed.

Steve Jobs was an infamous tyrant to those in the computer industry. His days running a company called NeXT were particularly punctuated by rants, tirades, and tantrums, typically ending with the termination of the employee he happened to be screaming at. Unusual behavior for a practicing Buddhist that spent seven months on a spirit journey, wandering India and dropping heavy amounts of LSD. Then again, taking a drug that burns holes in your brain is liable to mess with anyone's social skills. More examples can be found in several books on Jobs and Apple, such as The Little Kingdom by Michael Moritz, The Second Coming of Steve Jobs by Alan Deutschman, and iCon: Steve Jobs by Jeffrey Young and William Simon. His stint at NeXT also landed him on Fortune's list of America's Toughest Bosses in 1993.

The rules and whims of a god-king have a trickle-down effect, and Apple was not immune. Everyone makes mistakes, even high ranking corporations, but it's how you respond that really matters, and Apple never did take criticism very well. When Apple was caught tracking and storing their users' location data, they claimed it was merely a bug. When the newly-released iPhone 4 was discovered to be plagued by poor antenna reception, Apple's official response amounted to "it's your fault, you're holding it wrong", with Jobs adding it was a "non-issue". 

Can you hear me now? No? Good!

The worst (or best, depending on where you stand) debacle was when Jobs declared "thermonuclear war" on Google for releasing the competing Android mobile operating system, leading to the subsequent release of iOS 6 on the iPhone 5. Many of the new features of iOS 6 were positively received, but one stood out: Google Maps was gone, replaced by Apple Maps. And it sucked, hard. It was missing many business, transport hubs, and other important locations, and in some instances even told people to drive where roads simply didn't exist. It was so bad, in fact, that the police in Mildura, Australia urged people not to use it, as they would wind up stranded in the wilderness. Apple did eventually apologize, however, and allowed Google Maps back onto its phone. Google's Jeff Huber reported that the app was then downloaded over 10 million times in less than 48 hours.

But seemingly worse than that was Apple's policy of litigation before innovation. Or rather, litigation following "innovation". Here is a brief list of some notable lawsuits Apple is part of:

• Sued by Cisco for trademark infringement over the "iPhone" brand. (Settled out of court.)
• Sues Samsung over devices with a "rectangular design and rounded corners" (and won).
• Sues Samsung over, among other things, searching multiple sources of information at once, clicking on phone numbers in other apps to initiate a call, built-in spell check, and the "slide to unlock" security feature. Absurdly, Apple won.
• A multitude of lawsuits over apple-shaped logos, including a small cafe in Germany, whose logo looks as different from Apple's as can be and still look like a fruit.
• They hold a patent for "wedge-shaped laptops". (Lawsuits pending.)  

Yet somehow, it's the other side of Steve Jobs that people have latched onto, completely in denial of all aspects of himself and his child company. Jobs is said to have had a "reality distortion field", a term coined from Star Trek, to describe Jobs' ability to convince everyone around him to believe anything with a perfect blend of charisma, marketing, and sheer bullshit. Apple embraced the personality cult he built up, suckering in millions of people with lies and empty promises like "it just works!" and "it's fine if you don't need to do anything crazy with it" followed by "it's not that much more expensive!"

What debating with an Apple fan is actually like.

This is encouraged through further marketing such as the Apple retail stores. Inside, the employees are all referred to as "geniuses", happy to lower themselves so they can help you, in your child-like ignorance, figure out how to set up your email account. Apple rebranded phrases and established industry terms, putting a positive spin on their rapidly shrinking kosher end-user environment. Their eventual goal: the ultra-loyal Total Apple Consumer. Regrettably, I'd concede that they succeeded, as Apple devotion now triggers the same brain responses as fanatical religious worship.

Fight the man, man!

Entire industries are even falling prey to this sort of lack-of-thinking; before his death, Steve Jobs announced the "death of Flash", and it's actually happening! A multi-million dollar industry is vaporizing simply because Steve Jobs didn't like it, replacing it with HTML5, a half-assed suite of software no one understands and is still several years from full development.

This is the part that pisses me off the most: doe-eyed adoration, flying in the face of reality. If it suits your purposes, fine, but don't try justifying the sort of stupid, unfounded bullshit like I've outlined here. There are millions of people who would gladly throw themselves in front of a bus before admitting that there could possibly be something wrong with Jobs and the company he lorded over. When the cold hard truth is that they worship a man and his empire built on a foundation such as this:

Now everyone hold your tongue and say "apple".